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Fighting the Fear Factor

Updated: Sep 17, 2020

John Lennon once said that the biggest motivators for action are fear and love. I buy into that totally. I’m sure most of us know someone that walked out on a marriage for passionate fling or did a spectacular switch to healthy living after a doctor delivered bad news.

But most of us just bumble along, not quite content, but not quote motivated enough to switch things up either. Sound familiar? (In fact, I was staggered at how many women within my Facebook community resonated with this recently.)

I’ve certainly been there. Craving something more for my life but not quite knowing what; witnessing friends doing amazing things with a sense of underlying envy; feeling constrained by the responsibilities that come with getting older. The chances are you’ve felt the same.

So, we keep on bumbling until something forces us to do things differently – and often, what propels us into action is a massive shot of fear.

Let’s face it, there’s a lot to be fearful of at present as we plough head-long into recession and the only certain thing about the world is our unwavering sense of uncertainty.

But so many of us become become reliant on the fear factor to motivate us – we wait until we’ve lost our job before we crack on and with starting that business, until we’re at our wits’ end before we seek help, until we burn-out before we’re forced to take it slowly. (Insert your own fear factor as appropriate..)

The scary stuff backs you into a corner - you either make immediate change or reap the consequences of your inaction.

The trouble is, it’s just not healthy!

Waiting for fear to motivate us is like that mad dash for a bus that’s already left the bus-stop. It’s stressful, it drains you of energy and there’s a significant chance you’re not going to make it. Hell, you might not even be running for the right bus! If you do make it, you’re a stressed, sweaty, panting mess ready for nothing more than a sit down and a cuppa.

Wouldn’t it be far more effective to get to the stop before the bus leaves? To understand which bus you need to catch in order to reach your destination, what time it runs and when you need to set off? If you plan your journey beforehand, you can even pack a bag and do something productive on the ride. And the best bit? You reach your stop calm and ready for what's next.

Confidence coaching is, in essence, preventing that mad dash for the bus.

- It’s a proactive step that helps you pinpoint EXACTLY where you want to go and when you want to get there (even if you don’t know what that looks like yet).

- It’s step-by-step route guidance (even when your sense of navigation is poor).

- It’s a properly packed bag filled with every resource you could possibly require for your journey (even if you’re not sure what you need.)

- And if the bus doesn’t turn up? It’s the ability to pivot and find another equally effective and efficient way of reaching your destination.

And once you’ve done it? You’ll feel great – and you’ll do it again. And again. And each time you’ll venture further, until before you know it, you’re a bone fide globe-trotter.

The moral of this story..

Tell the fear factor to f**k off.

Lean in and listen, really listen, to what your subconscious is telling you. If you feel stuck, if you deserve more, if you’re dissatisfied with your work, yourself or your surroundings, if you're overly worried about what others think, stop and take stock before that fear has chance to bite.

Change doesn’t come from bumbling. Positive change comes from positive action.

How great would it feel to bypass the fear and step into a passion for change? Into a passion that motivates you to get to the bus-stop on time. Into a confidence that empowers you to embark on a new journey – a journey that you have chosen and created.

So, hop on that bus, the future you is waiting! 😉

Nicole x

P.S. If you’re ready to stop reacting and start responding, book a free chat here as I’d love to help you on your way.

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1 Comment

Aug 20, 2020

This is so true!

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